Old Man
Friday afternoon, 75 degrees
I'm a human in decline. A sappy old man reflecting on the joys of his life. What luck I have had! What a lucky loser. To have come so far and had so much and been loved so greatly.
A sad old man
Young men shouldn't need to look backwards. Old men can be happy from what they've had. Why should I be happy? I should be anxious for the future. I should be shaking in fear.
Friday Afternoon Again
Is it too good?
Sad old men are happy from contentedness. Happy young men should be sad for lack of ambition.
I slash myself apart, tear through my soul with blades and a grape fruit spoon pretending for a spade, hoping I'll find some reason in the upturned soil to fill me with fear. I turn up no fruits or seeds. The earth here is barren, not from overwork but from simple neglect. Both are poor stewardship. I am not empty. I am filled with useless dirt. Worse than useless, it makes me feel full and happy and cheery.
Misery is Joy